The Four Letter “F” Word

Living with ADHD or executive function challenges can lead to a lot of frustration. Sometimes, you even feel like saying the dreaded “F” word. You know the one, the one that slips into your mind and makes you feel bad that you’ve thought and then worst of all, more so than saying it, you’re living it. Fail!  It’s the worst “f” word I know.

How can we avoid that word when we are stuck in habits that aren’t serving us? And added to that, amongst a landscape of ADHD, it’s hard to get the mindspace (some may say headspace but I think of it as mindspace) to break away from those habits.

The answer to that is setting realistic goals.  Goals that we can achieve and help us feel like a winner and not a loser. Sounds like simple solution, but then why aren’t we already doing it? The ADHD brain behaves differently regarding messaging and reactions. Impulsive actions and poor working memory are at play in the cycle of history repeating itself and getting stuck in unhelpful cycles of behaviour.

Simple strategies, such as learning to pause, or taking time out to figure out an action plan that will work for oneself are great ways to start implementing significant change. Change works best when it comes from within. What does this mean?  It means figuring it out for yourself, rather being told what to do in a way that is meaningful for someone else.  Coaching isn’t “telling people what to do” but rather uncovering a client’s motivation and strengths and assisting the client work out what is best for them.

This is where there is strength and strategy in coaching.  The ADHD coach is trained in specific techniques to help those with ADHD work on tactical and not psychological issues. By that, I mean, coaching encourages us to look at our learnt behaviours and what has happened in the past, and use that as information. We only have the minute we are in now so, time to use that information and use it logically to move ahead. Coaching with Connect ADHD coaching uses the philosophy of SMART goals to break the task down into logical steps that take into account how our client’s work best, and find out exactly what is getting in the way.